Posted by fallsfall on July 30, 2004, at 16:58:29
In reply to Re: Ugh.. group-free backlash, posted by tabitha on July 30, 2004, at 14:20:03
The groups that I have been in required a certain amount of "closure" time. As I understand it there are a couple of reasons for this.
1. You (and I) know that there are times we want to just pack it in, but we do go back to our therapist and we find that those are the times when we learn the most. Group is the same way. The closure time helps ensure that you don't quit everytime you run into a tough issue that is uncomfortable.
2. Other people in the group need to have time to have closure with you. I'm sure there have been times in your life when someone has gone away abruptly and you are left standing there saying "but...but..." and wishing that you could finish your thoughts with that person (either good thoughts or bad thoughts). The 6 weeks gives the other group members time to figure out what your leaving will mean to them, and time to talk about the things that they need to talk about in relation to you leaving. A lot of people in therapy have abandonment issues - this gives people a chance to work on them.
3. They dynamics of the group change when someone leaves. I remember going to group and being very disappointed because a particular member wasn't there that time. I was counting on them to be there so that I could get their reaction to the particular thing I wanted to talk about that time. Knowing in advance that someone is leaving gives the other group members a chance to explore what the new group dynamics will be without the person who is leaving.
4. Your therapist may wish to fill your slot in the group. There is an optimal number for each group. I joined a group that had 2 people in it. 2 people really wasn't enough - 3 was quite iffy, 4 was better etc. But there is an upper limit, too (8?). Depending on the size of the group, your therapist may have told people who want to join that the group was full. Or if the group will now be too small, she may want to do some recruiting among her peers - to see if there is someone else suitable who wants to join. These things take a little time.
5. I really think that the money is the least of your therapist's concerns. I found that, particularly in group, the money was a lever to keep the group stable.
I have joined groups, left them, and watched while others left. There is more at stake here than your therapist's pocketbook. Please try to understand that your presence in the group HAS effected other group members, and your absence will be felt in more ways than you would imagine.
If it is possible, I would suggest that you spend these 6 weeks trying to understand why you find the group so intolerable.
Wouldn't it be nice if we could learn important things without a bunch of pain?????
Good luck, Tabitha.
poster:fallsfall
thread:371475
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040728/msgs/372451.html