Posted by Racer on June 30, 2004, at 16:28:35
Just like the Big Girls! My new therapist asked me to write out what I want to get across to Dr EyeCandy. (Although we never discuss him by name, of course, just "The Doctor" -- and please pray to all the gods there be that I never use that name in her office!) I was so excited! "Whoohoo! Now I can be like Daisy and the other Big Girls!"
Now, of course, I'm kinda lost with it all. We talked today about what I need and what I want -- I *need* meds, but I *want* to be treated with basic respect. The problem for me is that the *want* really is preventing me from getting the *need* met -- my reaction to the treatment I've received (not directly from Dr EyeCandy, by the way, although sometimes attributed to him by the people actually involved) is so overwhelming and so negative and creates such a state of panic for me that I can't even go to his office. It is so frightening to know that I have to go, to go, to be in the lobby, etc; that I spend days dreading it and feel sick when I do go. Now, he, himself, has never been horrible to me -- but the things I've heard now from so many other people within the agency have just-well, I don't what they've done, but they've done it well and left me at a loss for words. I almost wrote "I know he's frustrated with me" and I suspect strongly that he is, but since he seems to be working off what other people say and not listening to me; and since I'm hearing most of this second hand, too -- makes for a situation where I feel as if we'd do a lot better if I could use fax appointments or something, you know? May as well do it in writing and save me a trip through hell, you know?
Anyway, just wanted you to know that I can join your club now -- I want a key to the clubhouse and someone better teach me the secret knock.
poster:Racer
thread:362073
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040624/msgs/362073.html