Posted by Dinah on June 16, 2004, at 20:57:07
In reply to Therapy Hangover sick day (long), posted by tabitha on June 16, 2004, at 14:22:38
Tabitha, I am so so sorry. I don't blame you *at all* for being distraught. I wouldn't lose a moment's unease over the woman who was "jealous" - that says more about her than it does about you. If it says anything at all about you, it's about what desirable qualities you have that others would envy.
But I too would be upset with my therapist. It really does seem like the group is wreaking havoc with your therapeutic relationship, with her appearing to take the group's "side" most of the time. I could never ever do that with my therapist. I get upset enough with his one on one comments.
I wish I knew what to say. If you want to salvage the therapeutic relationship, I would definitely tell her how betrayed you would feel if she knew the woman's true feelings and tried to convince you that an alternate reality was true. It's one thing for her not to mention something another client said. It's entirely a different thing for her to try to convince you to operate on an assumption that she knew wasn't true.
I hate to see a long term therapy relationship be disrupted this way. :( It's like a marriage. Hey! What about marital counseling for the two of you?
Do you feel like the group is helping? Do you feel that her alternative universe explanations have any validity.
I won't even go into the choosing to be alone thing. I've fired pdocs for playing the "choice" card. It's so unanswerable because you can't *prove* otherwise, but they can't prove it's true either. And it seems plausible enough to make me doubt myself, and it's crazy making. I don't tolerate it at all well. And I don't see it as ever being particularly helpful. I *hate* therapist cop-outs like that. It's akin to the transference accusation. Fortunately my therapist is willing to admit that the possibility that he is acting like a jerk is as likely as that I am responding transferentially. And he'd probably admit that the possibility is just as strong that I'm choosing not to spend my time with tiresome people like the woman in group as that I'm choosing to be alone, period.
poster:Dinah
thread:357301
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040614/msgs/357389.html