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'Nother piece of it

Posted by Racer on June 12, 2004, at 16:50:49

In reply to Re: Any amateur therps wanna take this on? » Racer, posted by Pfinstegg on June 12, 2004, at 16:10:05

You know, this is a real problem for me, no matter how ridiculous it is from any rational point of view. I guess I'm totally irrational at this point. I cannot get myself the idea of trying "anything, no matter what, just to get me through this" right now. That makes it really overwhelming, just totally impossible when I think about trying to do it.

Yeah, I know there's this theory that rational people are willing to put up with a little discomfort in order to treat a disease state, and that in the whole scheme of the world, weight gain really isn't life threatening, it really isn't that big a deal when you consider the alternative, but that's what I can't get inside myself. All I can see is that I'd rather hide at home, miserable, unable to function -- but Not Fat -- than take the drugs and have to leave the house when I Am Fat.

And every time I start trying to think my way around all this, I spiral straight back to the whole "the only possible solution is death" conclusion.


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