Posted by DaisyM on June 5, 2004, at 20:23:29
In reply to Speaking of transference (long), posted by gardenergirl on June 5, 2004, at 18:31:10
GG,
First, I'm really sorry about your accident. I'm so glad you weren't hurt!
And I think what you said above in your post to Poet is true...even if you know all about transference, it can and does happen. It is supposed to...it means you are attached to your Therapist and working on some intense issues.
But KNOWING that you are working through parental transference doesn't make it less painful. I'm sorry your mother isn't there for you and hasn't been in the past. And even though we *might* know better, we all want our moms to comfort us. So we keep trying, even though the well is empty. I'm trying to learn to accept that my mother is an outstanding mentor but she doesn't really know how to mother. Somehow, what she didn't do hurts worse, or at least as much, as what my dad did do.
I wish I had some great advice that would help you with this. I keep wishing that I didn't want or need my mother's care as much as I do. I think this is why when things get hard, I "cling" to my Therapist and simultanously wait for him to fail me. Old habits die hard.
It sounds like you are learning to trust a few people in your life to comfort you and meet your needs. I think this is huge. Especially since you are blessed with a husband that can be there for you. Hang on to him!
Sessions that are hard are exhausting but I think those are the ones that stay with us. Your Therapist sounds really great...evil though he may be. :)
Take good care.
Daisy
poster:DaisyM
thread:354107
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040603/msgs/354133.html