Posted by Dinah on May 31, 2004, at 14:21:19
In reply to Re: Maybe I can post this part, posted by gardenergirl on May 31, 2004, at 12:19:26
I spoke to him about the twice a week thing today (yes, I caved and went). He says it's been his observation that I'm more stable at twice a week and he prefers me to stick to a routine. He asked me if I felt better at twice a week, and in fact I do. The emotional side of me that goes to therapy has very little concept of time and while I can sit on things for three or four days, any longer and if anything goes wrong I get anxious and call him. The twice a week schedule has *greatly* reduced between session calls and emergency sessions. Also, therapy is pretty much the only outlet for that side of me, and I do better when I'm able to express it regularly.
The rational side of me thinks once a week is completely adequate almost all the time, unless there is real stress. The emotional side of me prefers twice a week, as it makes me feel safe. But even the emotional side of me thinks it's ok to go once a week sometimes, and I think that's where my therapist and I disagree. He prefers that I keep to the routine for the sake of stability even when I don't really *need* to see him. And even the emotional side of me wonders why he doesn't think it's ok to only go once a week when it is more convenient for me, while he thinks it's just dandy when it's more convenient for him. I'm sure he'd put that differently.
I think part of the difference in styles between our therapists is that my therapist got his training through the counseling rather than the psychology route, so he tends to be more active and directive than a psychoanalytically trained therapist.
And the mystery of the hair color is explained (with a great deal of questioning on my part). For one thing, he knows I want to look more the way I used to look, and to him, hair has a lot to do with the difference, while for me it's the face shape and features. And for another thing, he appears to have a personal bias in favor of covering grey in women. He says he remembers that a hairstylist once told him that grey on men makes them look more distinguished while grey on women just makes them look old. Have I ever mentioned that my therapist is a bit shallow and looks conscious? But he's my therapist and I love him anyway. :P
I told him I must be deluding myself because *I* thought the grey made my hair look more like the streaky blonde I had as a child. Maybe he'll think a few times before making such personal comments in the future.
And then I get upset that my therapist seems to self-censor a lot when he's with me. lolol.
poster:Dinah
thread:351655
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040522/msgs/352410.html