Posted by gardenergirl on May 31, 2004, at 12:19:26
In reply to Re: Maybe I can post this part, posted by spoc on May 30, 2004, at 15:59:25
Dinah,
Your questions about therapy tend to be really thought-provoking to me. I wanted to repond earlier, but I had a hard time putting a post together.I was thinking about how therapy is for me. My T would never comment on my appearance, but he takes a very psychoanalytic approach. Blank slate and all. I've even had several inches cut off my hair (from shoulder length to chin length...just got it cut even shorter). He never said a word. I sometimes wear my hair curly, sometimes straight (and frizzy, HATE the humidity!) Anyway, he's never commented, but I do think he interprets it somehow. I think the only way he would talk about my appearance is if I were to talk at length about it. And I know he would not offer advice unless I were really lost and helpless. Even then, he would hesitate. He's just not one to offer advice.
Is your T one who does? Or is the appearance thing something he seems to have jumped on? It must hurt to have him go for something you abhor (hair color) and to ignore what you are really working on.
I admit, in reading your post, I don't have a gut reaction either way about what is coming from his own needs and what is coming from a place of therapy. And your question about pushing you to see him on Monday. Again, I just can't get a feel for that. Perhaps I am getting from your post how confused you are, or perhaps I am just confused by the situation, too. I don't know. I did wonder, just as an aside, if the appearance thing is something that you both are hanging onto in order to avoid something else? Just a thought.
I do know that if you are truly in support mode, as I think you have said before, it seems like extra sessions would not fit that model unless you were in more of a crisis. It sounds like something to talk more about. Do you and your T set goals for therapy? If so, it sometimes helps to look at them again in order to re-focus the treatment plan if you have wandered away from it. I wish I had done that more with my clients, as I tend to wander with what they bring in each time. Not that that's bad, but it does sometimes lead away from what they wanted in the first place.
Just some musings on your post. I hope that, whatever is going on, you and your T are able to work together to get through it. I'm guessing after nine years, it probably will get better.
Take care!
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:351655
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040522/msgs/352373.html