Posted by karen_kay on April 24, 2004, at 13:16:25
In reply to Second of two homework assignments, posted by Dinah on April 23, 2004, at 17:35:58
dinah,
i think that you are absolutely perfect just the way you are darling. i think that you should never, under any cicumstances feel that you should try to change or alter your appearance just to conform.
i do think that you should try to change the way you think others perceive you (and you perceive yourself).. you say that you fear they have a negative perception of you because of your looks and your approach to dress. perhaps if you change that, then you needn't bother with changing the way you dress and you can still remain very cute and comfortable..... people won't judge you because you are so gosh darn cute dinah. and i promise you, you are indeed very cute. someone who wears tennies, pigtails and cute dresses is very cute. you should try to change your perception that others have a negative 'opinion' of you, rather than change your appearance, because even if you do change your appearance and style of clothes, will that really accomplish much? perhaps maybe your therapist will be pleased to see it, but will that really make you happy to be uncomfortable? i still sense you'd have the same problem, if you just changed your style of clothes dear. even with a few compliments. perhaps it would boost your self esteem, but i think you need to change you perception instead dear.
and i don't think you'll feel any less insecure around others if you are what glamour may claim 'fashoinable.' you just need to get it through your 'stubborn' (you said it, i didn't :)) but, beautiful head that others will accept you even if you aren't necessarily an exact replica of them. in fact, it's even more beautiful to see that there are such lovely people out there who have other things to do with their time than to spend it trying to figure out if their shoes match their hand bag. dinah, you're perfect just the way the are dear. and don't try to let yourself tell you any different. wear what you like. and don't worry that others are judging you based on that. if they don't have anything better to do with their time than to judge someone based on what they are wearing, they honestly don't deserve to speak with someone as talented and beautiful as you. and you too should believe that. repeat that to yourself until you believe it!
poster:karen_kay
thread:339292
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040419/msgs/339545.html