Posted by holymama on April 23, 2004, at 19:03:53
In reply to Second of two homework assignments, posted by Dinah on April 23, 2004, at 17:35:58
Dinah, I have experienced this feeling of being out of place by the way I dress from both perspectives. I too used to dress in braids, hippy clothes, overalls birkenstocks...whatever was comfortable and baggy and definately NO makeup and I felt like people should just accept me. And I usually felt that they did too, at least the people I cared about accepting me. But I know too, that I did feel a certain amount of shame (for lack of a better word) in my appearance, and felt a little like a mouse in the company of better dressed people. But that would not make me change.
It's only been with age/time/whatever that my dress has changed. I went through a very physically fit period as a young mother, when I dressed in very attractive clothing, nothing baggy at all, clogs and Dr Scholls (hey, they're not high heels, but they're sexy on my scale), tight shirts, makeup, I've even started dying my hair bleach blonde and cut into a pixie. What a change from my hippy days! Well, the reverse happened with my peers. In some ways it felt good -- I certainly had the attention of men (at least their eyes!!!), but other women felt uncomfortable around me. They would make comments about my skinniness, and turn around and talk to eachother about the woes of their lives and diets, as if I was excluded from 'real life'.
So now, I am somewhere in the middle. Not very physically fit, but wearing reasonably attractive clothing, a little makeup, my hair cut short and dyed. I like being in the middle. I have experienced both sides, and I see how powerful our physical appearance is. I don't any longer want to hold onto my stubbornness about dressing however I want to, and I don't want to dress in the most attractive way possible. Both extremes repel people. It's actually more exciting for me to go out in the world as a nonthreatening person, so as to attract as many people as possible, and to get the most out of life. As an attractive/not too attractive female. :)
poster:holymama
thread:339292
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040419/msgs/339325.html