Posted by LG04 on April 6, 2004, at 16:50:09
In reply to Re: who has hugged there T's? or anything else? » obSession, posted by noa on April 6, 2004, at 8:48:59
My therapist and I hug after almost every session. It's always my choice. She waits for me to stand up and sees if I reach for a hug or not. I always do unless I am feeling mad at her for some reason and then I usually say, "I don't want to hug you today" or I just stand up and get my bag and go, and that's okay with her. Once she asked me for a hug but then apologized afterwards.
I can't imagine not being able to hug her. It's very important to me. I can be very needy and dependent towards her but I have never felt like I would want to hug her forever, meaning that the hugs don't cause me to want more and more and more. It usually feels just right. A few times I've hugged her and then started to leave and then turned around and hugged her again, but that's rare. Once in a while when I hug her I tell her I love her. Twice (in almost two years) I even spontaneously kissed her on the cheek! I was a little embarrassed but I can be very affectionate and it just happened! Basically I do whatever feels natural at the moment.
As an incest survivor, it's important for me to be able to experience safe touch with people whom I love and who love me, and I include my therapist in that category. She told me once (after she read "In Session," which I gave her to read) that if I ever want to talk about our hugs that's fine, but I don't have a need to talk about it because it works...it simply feels right, it is a non-issue for me.
By the way we didn't always hug. I can't remember when it started or how though. Maybe I'll ask her if she remembers.
LG
poster:LG04
thread:332579
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040402/msgs/333405.html