Posted by Karen_kay on March 31, 2004, at 18:32:34
In reply to Childhood, posted by lonelygirl on March 31, 2004, at 17:11:11
And he's very wise for being so young. I used to always go in and say "Well, I love my parents dearly and I feel that I come in here and tell you awful things about them. And it's not fair to them. I'm telling you horrible things about them and you don't hear the good things. And I feel horrible telling you bad things. That you must think my parents were horrible people." He told me (and I swear it sunk in the first time he said it) "Listen, you aren't here to talk about the joys of your life or the things that don't need to be fixed. You are here to be healed. I realize that your parents did some very incredible and wonderful things in your life, or you wouldn't be such a wwonderful person. But, I also realize that your parents are human and made some mistakes. And you are here to heal those mistakes. And they don't heal by talking about the wonderful things your parents did all the time. They heal by talking about some of the things your parents may have done wrong and finding patterns you are repeating. So, I will be better about discussing both the good and the bad. But don't think that I believe your parents only made mistakes, or you wouldn't be so great."
Ok, now he didn't say this word for word, but it was similar.... And from then on, I NEVER beat myself up for telling him some of the mistakes my parents may have made. I love my parents. But, they aren't in that room. And I realize they were doing their best when they raised me. And if it helps me to become a better person, then why not say MY interpretation, as I saw it? There's no reality, only perception, dear! And don't think that your hurt is worth any less than any other person's. It hurts just as much.
poster:Karen_kay
thread:330942
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040327/msgs/330978.html