Posted by All Done on March 22, 2004, at 0:41:55
In reply to Sharing with T, posted by All Done on March 13, 2004, at 0:56:39
Well, of course I started my session on Saturday with all things *not* pertaining to my list. Ugh! As a matter of fact, I didn't even have the courage to bring the list with me. I suppose that didn't really matter, though. I have it just about memorized. But I did have a difficult week and we were able to discuss some pretty important things, so I wasn't feeling like I was wasting the session.
About 40 minutes into the session, though, my T was asking about my ability to function with my son, husband, house, etc. when I get stressed out with work. I mentioned that my house is a disaster. He asked if we have a cleaning person and this happens to be a sore spot between my husband and me. Ten minutes later (!) we're still talking about ways to get my husband to agree to a cleaning person. Perhaps my T has some neat-freak counter transference issues as there is no way I wanted to spend ten minutes on this topic, but anyway, the next thing you know, I have only ten more minutes left. I think I used them wisely, though. I told him about the list and about my anxiety over sharing everything on it. He said I didn't have to share everything at once, but he is very interested in it and when I'm ready, he would like me to share.
Here's the thing (there's always a thing, you know). Ever since I told him that I don't feel like he *gets* me, he's been working really hard to make me feel like he's trying. That's a good thing, you say? Well, I feel like his new found interest in me is a bit fake. He's trying too hard. Subtlety is not his finest quality. The same thing happened when I told him I need to feel like I'm doing therapy "right". After that, he started flat out complimenting me on the good issues I'm bringing up. Now, I'll take the compliments wherever I can get them, I guess, but because them came so quickly on the heels of my comment, they too seem to be lacking in sincerity.
Well, I think I've got a few posts wrapped up in one, here. I just meant to update and let you all know that I did share the existence of my list and I do feel a sense of relief. I know I have some difficult work ahead, but overall I feel confident that my T will successfully guide me through it all at the right pace - mine :).
Thanks for all of your suppport! I seriously wouldn't have done it without you guys.
All Done
poster:All Done
thread:323840
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040321/msgs/326886.html