Posted by Karen_kay on February 24, 2004, at 12:20:21
In reply to how to make myself talk, posted by CareBear04 on February 23, 2004, at 17:40:49
Hey there...
I was in t5he ezact same situation as you. I almost wondered if I posted this a few months ago. This sounds like the exact same thing I was going through, and still am to a point...
Sugestions for you hun....
In time, you will begin to trust your therapist more, and your "censoring" will at least be less. It happened with me. I try to act confident and self-assured, but I'm not always that way. It's a front I put on.... But, my T haa come to realize that it is a front. And he points it out. And it sucks to be told tht you are pretending or censoring... But, eventually you will relax. Give it time..
About body issues..
I know what you mean about that too. Why bother to point something out to someone that they may have missed. IE: I don't like my breasts. Why bother to point out that I have small breasts if he didn't already realize it, you know? But, I did and he made me ralize that my breasts aren't small. And I'm happy with them (not to mention my sister has NO breasts! Ha! Mine are bigger.. We used to argue often about who's breasts were bigger, and I finally win!!)
When we talk about my body issues, it's in general terms. I've never pointed out that I think I am fat. I don't need reassurance that I'm not, I need to work out! So, when I talk about my body issues, I might say, "I'm going to start working out." And it makes him realize I have "body issues." So, we can begin talking about them, in general terms.
Another approach is to start out small. You can mention that you and your boyfriend/girlfriend/what ever you choose are fighting, or having "problems sexually." It may make your face turn red and seem very odd to talk about, but you can let him do some talking and just answer some questions. That may help...
I really thin that in time you will become more open. I had the exat same problem. He tried to do "free association" with me once and I sat there for 20 minutes breathing heavy. I told him I would censor and he made me do it anyway. All I said was, "I HATE IT WHEN MAKE MAKE ME DO THIHGS I DON'T WANT TO DO." And that phrase explianed SOOOOOO much.....
poster:Karen_kay
thread:316930
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040218/msgs/317176.html