Posted by pegasus on February 23, 2004, at 23:17:52
In reply to how to make myself talk, posted by CareBear04 on February 23, 2004, at 17:40:49
I find that if I'm having trouble talking about something in therapy, sometimes if I back up a few steps, there is some part of it that I can talk about. So, for example, say that I need to talk about sex (I'm just making this up). I know I can't do that, so I'll bring up the fact that there is something I think I need to talk about, but I'm far too embarrassed, and I don't want her to dig for it. So, then we'll talk about why I'm embarrassed (i.e., what I'm afraid might happen). Maybe I'll even mention that it has to do with my husband. Or maybe that piece will come out a couple of sessions down the road. Basically, I'm suggesting that maybe you can approach some of the important but hard stuff with little tiny steps, and let yourself off the hook for the big scary stuff until it feels right.
I find that with this very slow approach, I can sometimes feel out a way into a topic that I didn't think I could bring up. Or I can at least talk about the secondary issue that's keeping it out of therapy. And if nothing else, I'm getting a feel for how much I trust my T, and getting to know her better.
So, in your case, maybe you can start by letting your T know that you do want to get some help from therapy (since it sounds like he might think you're only there because you have to be). That's one tiny step in the right direction.
Or if that's just not going to work, maybe you can start by talking about fun things in your life. Stuff you are interested in and like to talk about. At least then you're not getting bored by lectures about psychoanalysis, and you're getting to know your T better and vice versa. And getting into the habit of talking.
- p
poster:pegasus
thread:316930
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040218/msgs/317044.html