Posted by crushedout on February 4, 2004, at 18:57:11
In reply to Re: ok, now it hurts, posted by alexandra_k on February 4, 2004, at 18:50:31
hey alexandra,just want to point out that i'm a woman.
that aside, it's kind of hard to answer your questions because it's hard to imagine. if my t and i were to have a relationship (this seems so unlikely as to be silly to talk about), the idea would be that i was special, not that she does this regularly with clients. if she did, then i wouldn't respect her at all. and because i do respect her greatly, i'm sure she doesn't. so i think i would trust her, but it's really hard to imagine.
and yes, i imagine i would miss having her as my t, but if she were my lover, i think it would be a worthwhile trade. again, hard to imagine.
> Hi crushedout. I am so proud of you for emailing your T. That took a lot of courage. I have been doing some reading on the net about transference, reading different perspectives on it because I have been thinking about it a lot lately....
>
> I appreciate that my situation may well be different from yours in that I tend to get transference for most T's / p-docs who are intelligent and pay me a bit of attention (sigh). Whereas it sounds like you don't get it for random people so much as this particular T.
>
> There is some stuff on how one just never knows what might have happened had you met in a different setting... That being said, one never could know because that didn't happen. Maybe if you did have a relationship things would work out - but then again maybe not.
>
> If you did end up having a relationship then how would you feel about her seeing other male clients? Do you think that there would likely be severe trust issues around her boundaries with other clients? Do you think that you would greatly miss not having such a wonderful T to talk to?
>
> I think that it is great that you are being honest with your T about this issue. You have inspired me to broach it in the future should it recurr (and I am fairly resigned to the fact that it probably will.... sigh).
>
> What doesn't kill us makes us stronge;, I do so hope that this turns into a positive experience for you. ((((crushedout)))) I do so hope that you feel better soon :-)
poster:crushedout
thread:309129
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040131/msgs/309472.html