Posted by Racer on January 31, 2004, at 21:48:21
In reply to Re: Asking T if he has sexual fantasies about you pt2, posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 31, 2004, at 17:11:45
> I'm all for the don't ask don't tell policy. However, men are men, and they think about sex a lot. And in my opinion, they think about having sex with every woman they encounter (although my husband denies this, I totally don't believe him). Am I wrong about this?? Gentlemen, if this is wrong, please let me know!
>I'm no gentleman, but I can tell you from that this lady flashes fantasies about just about every man she sees. Sometimes it's just a quick, "hmmm... looks like fun..." and sometimes it's a fully fledged seduction and completion scene with all the bells and whistles. Some men ring the fantasy bell more than once, others are just a momentary frisson of pleasure.
(For that matter, I also look at some women and have a little bit of "gee, how would it feel to caress her body?" It's no more something I act on than the fantasies about men, but I think anyone with a heartbeat can appreciate the magnetism of, say, Lucy Lawless or Jodie Foster.)
When I don't fantasize like this, I know that I'm depressed again.
> So I just assume my T has had at least one sexual thought about me. It's natural.
>
> However, if he admitted to it, I would run from the room screaming, joining Dinah at 31 Flavors, and commence to eat several brownie sundaes, followed by Manhattans at the Applebees next door.That's hysterical. I love the visual image it conjures up, two round eyed women in the Baskin Robbins, staring at one another in horror! Thank you for a day brightener.
If I KNEW for a fact that he fantasized about me, it would always make me question exactly what was going on in therpay. PArt of me would think he might be intentionally keeping me there to satisfy his needs.
That's one reason I'd never ask the question myself. I'd always wonder after that, if I needed the treatment or if he did. Another reason for me, though, would be the "what if we did?" that would forever after be in my mind. You know, the whole, "But if we agreed that no one would ever know, and that we agreed in advance that it was wrong but we were going to do it anyway" scenario.
And if I found out he DIDN'T fantasize about me, that would be an ego bruiser, something I don't need right now.
>
Yep, that would be pretty devastating. The person we open up to and allow ourselves to be vulnerable to, telling us that he didn't have any throbbing desire for us at any time, ever? I can't think of anything more awful. Heck, even if I knew for a fact that my pdoc was gay, I'd still like to know that he'd at least thought once about what I'd look like with my clothes off!> Dinah, do you like Manhattans?
Can't answer for Dinah, but if we're going to Applebee's, I'll take a Peach Margarita...
poster:Racer
thread:307682
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040131/msgs/307946.html