Posted by Karen_kay on January 31, 2004, at 12:38:03
In reply to Re: New thoughts on T disclosures re: countertrans » alexandra_k, posted by crushedout on January 31, 2004, at 8:15:04
I'm really sorry if I've offended you in some way. I seem to get the impression that I have. Am I just being paranoid, as that is rather typical of me. Please be honest and tell me if I have. I'd really like to work it out if that's that case. If I'm just being silly, tell me that as well.....
If Bubba (my therapist) were to tell me that he was attrcted to me, it would honestly put me in an awkward position. I was sexually abused as a child and for him to tell me that, I would constantly worry that he had some other motive for every piece of advice he gave me (as in trying to leave my boyfriend), every concern he had for me, ect. I already have trust issues and this would just add to that. I jsut don't think it would be in my best interest for him to disclose something like that to me. I would constantly worry about another man not being able to control his urges and keeping my best interests at heart.
In your case, do you think this is coming from your best interests or more from your desire? (I'm not trying to sound harsh, just trying to give a diferent point of view from an outside viewer looking in) Would you rather have your therapist as a therapist or a lover? I think that sexual feelings are completely natural and wonderful, but to tell a client would only give them false hopes. Or burden them with the idea that "Maybe the therapist won't be able to control those urges and will have to terminate based on that."
What exactly do you mean though.... As in the therapist admitting to sexual fantasies? Or admitting to being in love with the client? I could see the therapist admitting to fantasies if the client asks and there are trust issues involved, ect. But, I can't see a reason for a therapist to say, "I'm in love with you." I jsut can't see how that would be in the best interest of the client...
But, I wonder is this coming more from your desire for your therapist to love you? I really think you should talk to your therapist about this. It seems that your therapist had some loose boundaries in the beginning.
poster:Karen_kay
thread:307129
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040131/msgs/307717.html