Posted by crushedout on January 31, 2004, at 8:15:04
In reply to Re: New thoughts on T disclosures re: countertrans, posted by alexandra_k on January 31, 2004, at 4:45:37
that's ok. you make an excellent point and i agree with you. it *is* more important why it matters so much to me than how she feels about me.> I am sorry. I am in a strange mood, it did occur to me that it wasn't sensitive at all - I didn't realise just how much though till after I posted - would have edited it out but I don't know if we can do this???
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> My thought was that sure having sexual feelings is a part of being human, and is natural and all. But I also know guys who are very 'attractive' in the classic sense (I know there is no standard of 'objective' beauty but 9 out of 10 would agree that they are very good looking...) anyway my point is that they don't turn me on at all. Though I am very very fond of some of them.
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> Now I am messed up in that respect - but my point is kind of that I don't think one need take offence or feel hurt if someone isn't aroused or strongly attracted to you as they may still like you very much indeed.
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> Someone can also be physically attracted to you for all the wrong reasons. In which case it is not much of a compliment at all ('100 for a F***?').
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> I guess what I am trying to say is that sexual arousal can be seperable from closeness and attachment. Things blur for me. I would hate it to blur for my T because I need someone to help me tease them apart. I meant my last question as a genuine question because I want the answer to be 'I wouldn't be upset at all'. I think that discussing with your T why this issue is on your mind may be more useful to you than how your T actually feels that is all.
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> Once again, I am sorry - I would have felt offended too if I was in your position.
poster:crushedout
thread:307129
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040131/msgs/307638.html