Posted by Penny on January 30, 2004, at 10:15:34
In reply to Re: New thoughts on T disclosures re: countertransfer. » alexandra_k, posted by crushedout on January 30, 2004, at 10:02:42
Well, I've had the maternal transference discussion with both of my Ts, but I haven't experienced erotic transference with them, so haven't had to have *that* talk. My pdoc, on the other hand - well, I just love him. I mean, I can't honestly say I like to think of him in 'that way' - I know he's married (I hope happily!) with five kids, and he's older than my dad, and we've discussed transference in general, and he discourages it with his patients - he says he thinks it's quite valuable in therapy, but he tries very hard to not do therapy with his patients. So, he's very open about his life and we just talk. Unfortunately, as I've told him, that hasn't kept me from becoming attached to him. As I told him, he's the only man in my life, really, that I can talk to about pretty much anything.
At the same time, my feelings for my pdoc are confusing in a way. On one hand, I see him as a father figure. On the other hand, I find him attractive, and while I know that my comfort with him is largely due to his 'safety' factor, i.e. that I KNOW nothing would EVER happen between us, so it's okay for me to be open with him, I still find him attractive and I guess, if I had to be brutally honest (and why do I feel a need to be right now?), I do occasionally find myself flustered or overwhelmed with affection for him. For example, he took my bp once, not too long ago, and I couldn't help but blush. Now, it's not as though this man isn't a medical doc, not as though I haven't known him for over 2 years, and so on, not as though he doesn't know most everything about me, but I still blushed and felt, well, I don't know!
But I haven't told him that. And, honestly, I'm not sure what purpose it would serve. I did tell him that I thought my bp was elevated just in his office, not in general, and he said, "Is it the white coat effect?" and I said, "No, I think it's the man effect..." Which is when he thought it might be better if I take my own bp at home... :-b
P
poster:Penny
thread:307129
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040123/msgs/307236.html