Posted by Penny on January 30, 2004, at 10:22:43
In reply to What I need, posted by fallsfall on January 30, 2004, at 9:03:40
(((Falls)))
This is a tough one, and I'm not sure I can respond adequately - where's Dinah??? - but here are my thoughts, for what they're worth:
Do you feel that by not actively validating what you had been talking about, he was, in a way, invalidating the discussion? I'm not saying that he was, but am wondering if that's how it made you feel?
Truly, I'm not sure why he couldn't have given you that validation. I see his point in that you do need to recognize that your own validation is just as important, or moreso, than anyone else's. It's what YOU think/feel that matters.
At the same time, there are appropriate times for teaching certain lessons, and I question his timing on this one.
Another question - is there something else he could have done or said that would have helped you achieve that result, of feeling validated?
And did you tell him exactly what you told us? Did you actually say to him: 'But I turned my heart inside out in the last two days. I just want you to say that it was worth it. That I have done a good job.'? And, if not, do you think it would make a difference?
One more question - do YOU feel the work you did was important? Are you able to self-validate, with or without the validation of others?
P
poster:Penny
thread:307199
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040123/msgs/307237.html