Posted by Dinah on January 11, 2004, at 13:34:43
In reply to Re: Happy birthday Elle, posted by psychlover on January 11, 2004, at 12:36:22
From "The Gift of Therapy" by Irvin Yalom, M.D. page 92
"If patients want to know whether I am married, have children, liked a certain movie, read a certain book, or felt awkward at our meeting at some social event, I always answer them directly. Why not? What's the big deal? How can one have a genuine encounter with another person while remaining so opaque?"
p. 93
"Thus, by no means does therapist self-disclosure replace the exploration of the process of hte patient's personal inquiries. Do both! Some therapists make a point of responding to questions with: "I'll be glad to answer that, but first I'd like to as much as possible about the asking of that question." Sometimes I use that approach, but I've rarely found particular advantage in insisting on any particular order ("You go first and then I'll respond").
Dr. Yalom is widely respected, and his approach is probably not fringe. We, as patients, have the option to choose our therapists on the basis of many qualities. Overly firm boundaries would probably be a deal breaker for me, unless the therapist was particularly gifted in other areas.
I don't think a patient/client should let anyone make us feel guilty about being human and wanting a level of connection, not even our therapists. They can draw their boundaries, we can draw ours, and if they aren't compatible we can look elsewhere.
poster:Dinah
thread:299282
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040110/msgs/299442.html