Posted by Dinah on January 11, 2004, at 12:49:44
In reply to Re: Happy birthday Elle, posted by psychlover on January 11, 2004, at 12:36:22
I think much of what you say is perfectly correct. But the details of self disclosure are debated among therapists. And perfectly respectable therapists have different ideas about it.
Is knowing someone's birthday really establishing a personal relationship? I don't really think so. My therapist mentioned when his birthday was and it wasn't important enough for me to remember it! Nor does he remember mine. If he, or I, happen to mention it's our birthday, the other would probably say happy birthday and get back to therapy.
Boundaries should be set at the optimal distance for a particular client. Flexibility is the key to good therapy. Unless you're doing strict psychoanalysis, or strict CBT perhaps, the idea of a blank slate therapist has pretty much gone the way of the dinosaur. Most therapists who use a relational model would not be particularly surprised at what some of us think therapy should be. They may even think that a lack of curiousity about our therapist reveals as much as an abundance of it. And maybe it would.
poster:Dinah
thread:299282
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040110/msgs/299423.html