Posted by LostGirl on December 19, 2003, at 9:34:04
In reply to shrink's wife wonderings, posted by Joslynn on December 17, 2003, at 16:08:43
My former therapist, who I loved, loved, loved, until he "forgot" to tell me about his vacation dates worked out of his house. The bottom floor was an office, waiting room and bathroom and he lived in the two upper floors. I occasionally saw the wife come and go, sometimes with a toddler. Then that September I notice, as I'm waiting for my daughter at her elementary school, that THE WIFE is approaching the pre-school across the street to get their kid who just started attending there. For TWO YEARS the wife would pick up their kid across from my daughter's school. It became this sort of morbid fascination to watch for her, check out how she looked, clothes, if whe talked to other mothers, etc. My impressions were:
1. Always running late (unlike me who gets to my daughter's school and appointments with her hubby very promptly).
2. She walks like a duck.
3. She has no taste in clothes. Wears a jeans skirt SO often. Wears a stupid bright backpack instead of a more professional bag.
4. Was the oldest of all the parents (they were almost 50 and had this pre-school kid, their only kid)
5. I am much prettier, and I look young for my age - he's got to find me attractive compared to that thing he sleeps with, I mean his wife.
- I also ran into them several other places.
They took the kid to the local Halloween parade. The wife had cat make-up on, he had a dog mask on the top of his head that he was reluctant to put on his face. She marched with the kid, he hung out on the sidelines.
- They attended a carnival at my daughter's school, in her schoolyard. I had an instant migraine. Interestingly they didn't interact. She talked while he put the kid on rides. Then she left.
- There was a meeting to sign kids up for the local day camp. She walks in and goes on the line right next to me and stands 2 feet away (lines were by alpabetical listing). She pulls out her cel phone, makes a call, doesn't reach the person, puts it away. Five minutes later, same routine. Five minutes later, again, and as she's holding it to her ear, he walks in. She says to the person in front of her "It's about time he got here." I want to disappear because he's heading my way to get to her. I look the other way and down. He greets her, then disappears and talks to people on the side of the room, not waiting on line with her or interacting with her.
- I saw them the other day. He was walking about 8 feet in front, then the kid, then her.
I was always comparing myself to her, and fascinated with her, and joyful that in my mind I came up the winner. But even in fantasy, I didn't ever want anything outside the room. I just wanted to make believe that his whole life WAS that time with me, those two hours a week, and that he never left the room or got out of that chair except to let me in and out.
I was always jealous of other people coming and going. The best was when there was no one before me or after me. Not too bad when someone before me or after me, worst when someone before me AND someone after me.
He once, amazingly, told me that the kid is adopted, that they had fertility problems. He rarely ever divulged anything and that was a shocker. Of course I then wondered which one had the fertility problem. Low sperm count? Old eggs?
poster:LostGirl
thread:291032
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031213/msgs/291568.html