Posted by DaisyM on December 18, 2003, at 18:56:32
I haven't done this before...I'm really really angry at my Therapist but I'm not sure why. I've had the experience of emotional aftermath, usually a few hours later or the next day. I get overwhelmed or sad, or I panic about what I said.
Today, driving home, I realized I was mad. So I'm trying to sort out why. My best guess is that we ended badly (for me) because I spent most of the session on how demanding life is right now, and on how I had a melt-down yesterday about it all. We talked about old memories and we talked about all of the individual issues that are causing stress. He asked me how it felt to have him go through all of this with me. I said something stupid like fine, it helps. He reminded me that I could say anything I wanted in therapy, it was Ok not to be nice or understanding, etc. This was my space to just let it out. Ok, so, so-far, so-good. Then, time was up.
He didn't say, "for coping, try this or that". He didn't say "call me if you need me." He didn't say, "it will be Ok, you'll get through this."
He asked a question about my insurance and reconfirmed appointments for next week.
So, essentially I had to switch from the "I can't do all of this, watch me fall apart" person to the "I'm an organized, together" person who knows about insurance and can make appointment decisions. In 22 seconds.
I feel like he doesn't care about how hard this weekend is going to be. I feel like just a paycheck (first time I've felt that way).
And I feel like I'm being completely unfair because he didn't really do anything to make me feel that way.
I think I wanted him to either 1) Let me stay in his office all weekend, or 2) make it all better.
I'm still mad at him.
poster:DaisyM
thread:291386
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031213/msgs/291386.html