Posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 15, 2003, at 15:43:53
In reply to Transferance questions, posted by naiad on December 15, 2003, at 13:39:06
I can completely empathize with your quandry since I am in pretty much the same boat. I have been seeing my psychologist for 5 months now and realized within several months that I had a monumental crush on him. Through reading these forums, I got the Lott book and read it about 5 or 6 times. It really helped to put things in perspective.
I actually gave this book to my therapist before I revealed any feelings. I just casually mentioned that I thought the book was interesting and did he want to read it? He said yes and has said that he learned much from it. A few weeks back I admitted to him that I was experiencing "transference" and that I was afraid that maybe he would be put off by it or somehow offended. He said he was neither and not to worry, that he really learned a lot from the the Lott book, mainly, neither to accept nor reject my love. He did mention though that he hoped it wouldn't get in the way of therapy and I assured him it wouldn't, that I didn't want to seduce him (of course I do!) but that I just had a Daddy-crush on him.
Like you, I am afraid to bring it up again for fear that he may think I'm too difficult to handle or maybe he just doesn't want to deal with a patient who has an overt crush on him. so I haven't brought it up. And I really think he doesn't want to talk about it too much. So for now, nothing has been said again about it, although I somehow feel much better that I told him and that he seems to reamin neutral, neither saying "No! that is forbidden" or "I feel the same!"
I do want to bring it up again, but everytime I think I'm ready to, something else more urgent pops up in therapy (maybe I do this on purpose?) I highly recommend loaning the book to your therapist. Would you feel comfortable doing that? I even went so far as to underline things. I knew he HAD to pay attention to that! I am very non-confrontational however.
poster:Miss Honeychurch
thread:290070
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031213/msgs/290138.html