Posted by Dr. Rod on December 3, 2003, at 2:37:48
In reply to Re: Mind's Eye --- mine must need washing..., posted by Joslynn on December 2, 2003, at 20:12:40
I appreciate your patient manner in your response... For me to be all those things you say, I would have to be singularly judgmental, passing judgement on all of "YOU"... Joslynn, I promise you I am only hoping to evoke; to be evocative, no more, no less... Instead, I hear avoidance of my information by labeling it “judgmental”... So, by implication, I must be doing it wrong, otherwise you would see wisdom instead of totalitarianism in what I say...
Please tell me how to evoke responses any other way; any-way differently than I have been... I honor my implied contract with Dr. Bob and this board not to "therapize" anyone in anyway...
What kind of goof would I be if I warned about the "tyranny of the shoulds" (and don'ts) and turned around and told you what you should and don't do??? Please re-read my posts and earmark all my "you shoulds" and "you don'ts" if you can...
How I got here is a story alright... You can tell I "did my time" and "paid my dues" by the "emotional limp" you see when I walk/talk...
I found that the surety of "knowing why" was an endless story, played out so I wouldn't have to look at myself... I was "other centered" yet I swore I was "peddling as fast as I could" toward my goal of wholeness; being "enough"...In 1990, while writing notes for my first book, I discovered something amazing... I had been feverishly chasing a dream of wellness by trying to change myself and my attitudes... I knew what I wanted, and I wasn't it... What came leaping out of the pages of my struggles at writing was that I was now back where I had started 17 years before in 1973, however, I saw who I was and I liked who I was... I was "enough"...
I had gone all my life with the notion that I was what I did; the nuns had trained me well... What was different now is that I was back where I started, but I was no longer prone to do those things that sabotaged myself and my future... To the point, I was no longer whatever I did; I was just me...
I liked me!!! Most important, I discovered that I probably suffered from "self-loathing" before, which was now extinguished... You know what they say about suffering, "pain is real --- the misery and suffering are optional"... I took the option not to suffer anymore... When I talk to myself in the mirror, I now hear only one voice, mine!!!
This stuff I talk about is so new and cutting- edge that there are few examples to even tell stories about... Third party references come to mind; he, she, it, and them...
I promise to work on being careful(ler) next time if you promise to try to "wear" what I say instead of avoiding it... I call this a mini-contract...
poster:Dr. Rod
thread:285683
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031202/msgs/286127.html