Posted by mair on December 2, 2003, at 12:11:07
In reply to Mind's Eye, posted by Dr. Rod on December 1, 2003, at 19:27:01
For years I've been opining to my therapist that since I seem to slip in and out of depressive states fairly quickly and since I'm pretty high functioning most of the time even when depressed, I must be "choosing" to be ill. I frequently feel that depression is something I should be able to "will" away. Of course when I'm not depressed, everything looks less complicated and more possible. My therapist has never bought into this to any degree although it comes up from time to time and we have taken a pretty close look at my theory.
I've also been struck by how I can sometimes think incredibly awful things about myself although I then may have no physical symptoms of depression. My therapist has been trying to convince me that this pattern of negative thinking is, in and of itself, a symptom of depression. It's pretty key that I buy into her theory because otherwise, all of those negatives, if not depression based, become more reality based. The negative messages are the clearest ones I give myself and definitely the most convincing.
I'm not quite sure what I'm left with if in fact I truly can choose not to be depressed and yet don't (choose).
Mair
poster:mair
thread:285683
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031202/msgs/285900.html