Posted by Joslynn on December 2, 2003, at 20:12:40
In reply to Re: Mind's Eye --- mine must need washing... » Poet, posted by Dr. Rod on December 2, 2003, at 19:17:05
I can't speak for Poet, but since you asked and seem puzzled about it, I can share what I personally found offensive:
I'm picking up a lot of "you statements" in your posts and I get the impression that you want to tell other people that they are not feeling or thinking the way YOU think they should. Yet it is not until now that I have read you discussing your own experiences. (I admit, I have not read all your posts, so I could be wrong.)
In the posts by you that I have read, there is a large amount of space taken up by explaining to others your theories about what they are doing wrong. Those theories may be valid, they may not be, but people don't come here to be spoken to in a teacher/student context.
My impression from the FAQ etc. on here is that it is a board for MUTUAL support and education. When one person tells other people what they should do or should not do, without relating his or her own experiences, it no longer feels mutual. Rather, it comes across as aspiring to an authority on the board that no one on here can earn. No matter how well intentioned, no one here is in the position to be a teacher telling the rest of us how to think our thoughts and live our lives. Even Dr. Bob, a medical doctor, does not try to give therapy or lectures here.
Here is an experiment. If you have MS Word, cut and paste your post into a new file, and use the find/replace feature to find the word "you." It might surprise you to learn how many times you say "you" in one post. Then count how many times you say things like "my experience was" "I think/feel" etc. I think you will find a big difference.
On the FAQ, there is a link about the value of "I" statements that you might find helpful. http://www.crnhq.org/windskill4.html
poster:Joslynn
thread:285683
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031202/msgs/286074.html