Posted by DaisyM on November 26, 2003, at 19:08:48
We were talking today about how strong my need to "check in" can be sometimes. It isn't always but there are weeks when I feel really emotionally raw and needy. I said I assumed he would tell me when it was "too much." He clarified that I have a fear that he will get fed up and terminate. Well, yeah.
"What if," he asked, "I just said that I can't be there for you this one time, or around this one issue, but I'll be there the next time. Or around the other issues. Or what if I said, maybe you should only call 1x between sessions, instead of 10." (He was using an extreme example, BTW, I've never called 10Xs!) He clarified that right now he couldn't really project what an issue would possibly be that he couldn't be there for me, but...how would I feel if he "gently" needed to set limits or say no.
I guess what he was getting at was: "Is it all or nothing with your Therapist?"
My answer was that intellectually I could probably understand a good reason given for a "let down", for lack of a better term. But emotionally I have no experience with there being a next time. In my life, once I have been stomped on, I'm done. Or their done.
And as far as limit setting, since I usually set and keep my own, I would be mortified and it would be a complete shut down for me. Not that I wouldn't want to know, though. I think. :(
So, PTC members, how would you deal with this one?!
poster:DaisyM
thread:284247
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031123/msgs/284247.html