Posted by DaisyM on November 30, 2003, at 23:23:13
In reply to Re: New Question from a Therapist, posted by noa on November 30, 2003, at 12:34:01
I think this is totally the goal. Part of depression is isolation and lonliness, even in the midst of a really busy life. Allowing yourself to depend on other people to fill some of these needs would be real progress. It scares me to death. I'm usually the one picking up everyone else, giving them the advice that works, solving problems. I often think of myself as the glue that fills in the cracks that keeps it all together. To have someone "be there" for me means allowing someone to see the need, the imperfection. I don't do this. Not even with my husband -- who, of course, doesn't think I'm in anyway perfect!! Just his rock.
My guess is that your balance suggestion is exactly why my Therapist asked his question. I'm sure he must feel enormous pressure from me not to "let me down." I don't mean to put that on him. I just can't seem to help myself right now. We've been talking about him as my secure base, like a child who keeps checking in. I discovered several books at the library this weekend about Attachment and Adult Psychotherapy so I'm reading up on it. I actually did part of my thesis on infant attachment but never considered the implications for myself until very recently.
I'm glad you found the balance. Any tips on how?
poster:DaisyM
thread:284247
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031123/msgs/285384.html