Posted by aloe on November 7, 2003, at 17:38:08
In reply to Re: what exactly defines an emotional breakdown?, posted by justyourlaugh on November 7, 2003, at 16:50:35
thank you for being sweet. I don't know who to turn to anymore because I've cried on Bfriend's shoulder too much. I must look like such a mental case. Our 10 month relationship turned solemn/somber so early because of memories that came rushing back unannounced. Consequently (and combined with his med school rotations and me trying to buy my first home/condo), we don't have the carefree, happy-go-lucky, stress-free relationship that he and a past girlfriend of three years had. Of course I feel like he pines for this girl and that atmosphere, and who wouldn't, but maybe this somberness is just temporary. I have such a hard time figuring out if things I see are real (maybe he doesn't pine for her, etc). I'm so much deeper into this relationship than he is. He doesn't want this baggage, he's got enough to worry about without some girl being needy. I'm so sorry to ramble. I know he's just a bfriend,it's petty, but the point is that my alien brain is ruining things. If it wasn't this petty situation it would be something else. What is real? Who is controlling this alien brain of mine?
I wonder if I might be better off with a different pdoc (and a different drug cocktail; started july of this year). He has never said "Those feelings are normal." or "That must have been hard." or "are you ok?" Every time I walk in it's "What would you like to talk about today?" Talk about being on the spot. I let all these memories and feelings bubble back up and now I can't do anything with them. i'm stuck in limbo.
I feel fine now but I never know when I'm going to break. I'm scared. And tired of being someone else.
Again, sorry to ramble. It's been a tough day and it's really been wonderful to reach out to you all. Thank you so much for your responses. Thank you so much for just being there. Please know that you've really helped someone today. I hope I can offer the same to someone else in the future.
trying to hold the pieces together-
aloe
poster:aloe
thread:277524
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031030/msgs/277566.html