Posted by fallsfall on October 11, 2003, at 2:05:39
In reply to Is there value in telling the details?, posted by DaisyM on October 10, 2003, at 21:42:16
I think there are two schools of thought on whether dredging up the past is helpful. One says that you can't change the past so figure out where you are, where you want to go, and make a plan to get there. The other says that understanding what happened can tell you what you need to do to repair the damage. I believe that both work (but not necessarily for all people).
It's like if you have a problem with your leg, you can have surgery or you can wear a brace. Both work. But some people can't have surgery because they can't take the anesthesia. And some people can't wear a brace because they are an actor or a model.
So you need to find out which way will work best for you. Each therapist is trained in one direction or the other, so they will apply the skills that they learned in therapy. But your therapist should be able to explain to you why it is good or not good to delve into the past. Why the pain you feel with be worthwhile in the future, or why it won't.
If you have your therapist explain his position until you understand it, and you yearn for the other, you might want to ask for a referral for a consultation with someone who sees it all differently.
It is really hard to consciously go back to an extremely painful topic in therapy. I did so a couple of weeks ago. But it has been incredibly valuable for me. The pain was intense (still is), but the progress was important. Your therapist sounds good and careful. It sounds like he will protect you if you jump back in.
Good luck
poster:fallsfall
thread:268099
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030925/msgs/268212.html