Posted by fallsfall on October 7, 2003, at 21:25:47
In reply to Re: therapist abandonment, posted by michmich on October 7, 2003, at 20:51:50
It is mandatory that she "love" you only professionally. It is in your best interest to truly believe that that is all that she can ever do. Anything else on her part is unethical - she will lose her license.
You can have all the feelings you want for her, and you can talk all about them, but she can only feel professionally towards you. Understanding that can help to keep your expectations under control.
That said, I had no "extra" feelings for my therapist. I was just incredibly dependent on her. I don't see that I am capable of making progress towards getting better - therefore, if any progress was to be made, it was up to her. She made it very clear that my excessive dependency was a bad thing. She made it clear that calling between sessions (unless I had to go into the hospital) was being "needy". On rare occasions I would drop off a letter between sessions so she could read it before I came in. I developed pretty good coping mechanisms to wait the week between sessions. It was hard just about every week. I was so afraid of making her mad that I wouldn't have dreamed of breaking her boundaries.
I have now switched therapists, and have been trying very hard not to be dependent on my new therapist. Not that I've been successful.
Does this dependency sound familiar to you?
It hurts a lot and all the time. I don't know how to fix it. If you figure it out, let me know!
poster:fallsfall
thread:266484
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030925/msgs/266561.html