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Clear goals in therapy

Posted by Penny on October 1, 2003, at 13:21:55

Okay, y'all, I'm confused. I had this issue with therapy with my former therapist and now I'm coming up against the same thing with my current therapist - what exactly am I supposed to be *doing* in therapy?

When I was with my former therapist, I think I had a few goals in mind - I wanted to lose weight, so I wanted her to help me work on motivational issues surrounding that, I wanted to date more, so I wanted her to work with me on my issues with men, etc. But I stayed depressed so much of the time that I never really made much headway with any of my goals. I spent much of my time simply keeping my head above water.

At the same time, I had major transference issues with my therapist's pregnancy and maternity leave, so I had lots of fuel to draw upon in my sessions. In that respect, I feel like I did a good piece of work with my former therapist.

Now, however, I don't know what exactly I'm doing in therapy. I'm going twice a week right now, which I like except for the financial aspect, but I don't feel like I'm doing any work. I sense transference with my current therapist, but it's no where near as powerful so it doesn't spur as many issues. Often it seems I will just go into her office and we'll chat about my last visit to my pdoc and work and some about my former roommate or my parents or my grandmother or whatever, but we never get into any deep topics. Or I'll finally start to touch on something but by that time it will be the end of the session and I won't have time to really delve into it.

I guess what I'm saying is that I see the value of therapy for me right now just in giving me someone to touch base with a couple of times a week, to help me stay grounded, but other than that I'm wondering if it's becoming a waste of my time and money.

Or - worse yet - that my therapist and I aren't on the same page. I wish she would push me a little more, but instead I feel like she lets me completely take the reins and steer the session whichever way I want it to go, but that's not getting me anywhere. I need her to do some of the driving.

And I guess I should probably tell her that, right?

I really like her and when we've gotten into some heavier topics in the past (albeit briefly) she's been perceptive and insightful, but right now I'm just not sure that I'm doing any real work in therapy. Thoughts?

P


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Psycho-Babble Psychology | Framed

poster:Penny thread:264742
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030925/msgs/264742.html