Posted by Eggy on September 18, 2003, at 8:35:10
In reply to Re: I have BETTER news. » Eggy, posted by noa on September 13, 2003, at 13:15:32
Michael my therapist that said he couldn't see me anymore came back from California and called me yesterday. He said this "Look whose back" I said "That's nice to know" he said, "How are you doing?" I said, "I have some things there I need to pick up. When can I get them?" He was puzzled. I could tell he was somewhat at a loss for words. He couldn't believe that I didn't sit around the whole time in self-pity waiting for him to get back (I sort of did but he doesn't have to know that) He actually was still going to be my therapist. He never once acted like he said he wouldn't. He sort of stammered out "UH so Uh have you hooked up with someone else already". And I said "Actually I have". He said "So do you want to come by today and see me and we can talk and maybe you can get your stuff. I was so confused. Because I wanted to say, "I want you back...please take me back." but instead I said " No my husband will pick my stuff up. Just throw my journals away and put my other things in an envelope and he will be there after work." The journal thing killed him. He loved me doing those journals. 2 years worth.
But this morning I don't know what to think. I want to go back to him. I like my new therapist and I don't want to lose her. I miss him terribly. I am dying to lay on his couch and talk to him. I am so upset and confused. I even cut up my arm a few minutes ago. But I know not going back to get my things was a good step. I am a tad bit suicidal. Just thinking about it a little. Why did he have to call after what he said and did??? Why didn't he just leave it where it left off? I think what he did was inappropriate but it still got to me. I can feel myself sliding back down into that pit of dark sludge! Somewhere in this body is a happy person. I have seen her. I wish she would bounce out and take over and tell Michael to kiss her butt.
poster:Eggy
thread:257482
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030905/msgs/261316.html