Posted by Rigby on September 6, 2003, at 17:40:17
In reply to Do I Have a Weird Therapist Relationship?, posted by Rigby on September 5, 2003, at 12:58:26
Hi Fallsfall, Dinah and Hannah and thanks for all your messages!
I do feel at times like it's fine and warm and that she's cute about this kind of stuff, like you said Fallsfall. But then I also feel like at times it has come back to bite me a bit. She gets serious all of sudden--like she pushes the boundaries, realizes it and then pulls back. Dinah, you had mentioned getting a second opinion and I have talked to another therapist about quitting this current one and how conflicted I was and she said just do what my gut says which was to stay so I have.
Hannah, regarding counter-transference, my sense is that my therapist might have this in a big way with me. Last time I saw her she said something like, "Let's focus on our relationship--specifically our therapy relationship" and I'm thinking "What *other* relationship is there here anyway?" She was lesbian in her 20's then ended up marrying a guy in her 30's. I know this b/c a friend of mine who was roomate's with her knew her so that's how I got the info. I'm openly gay--have been for a long time.
When we talked about "her stuff" around me she said that what can share with me is that she likes me very much, finds me interesting and a challenge and that she very much wants to be/remain my therapist. I told her that I was more interested in what she *couldn't* share with me. She just smiled and that was that. When she was on these meds for a bad infection she dumped other stuff--that I was her favorite client, that I was special, that she was closer to me than any other client, etc. It took me many months to get her to talk about this very strange exchange that went on--she avoided it until I nearly quit.
She has said that she feels that we "get along too well" which has made things difficult. And she has apologized for confusing me. But sometimes I wonder if it's just one of those deals where you get two people together who have chemistry and you keep trying to play by the rules but you keep ending up bending them?
poster:Rigby
thread:257299
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030905/msgs/257661.html