Posted by Dinah on January 1, 2003, at 4:51:10
In reply to Re: Questionnaire for rating your therapist... » Dinah, posted by IsoM on January 1, 2003, at 1:25:02
My son is a delight, and I'm doing my best to be a good mom. I could do better, of course. But he's an extra-sensitive youngster, and sensitive people hurt a lot in life. I wouldn't be surprised if he needs therapy at some point.
I can't speak for anyone but myself as far as length of therapy is concerned, but at the beginning of that link it stated that long term therapy was beneficial to keep those with borderline personality disorder functioning at their best. I think I've finally come to understand that deep down I have the underlying dynamics of the borderline personality (or some sort of personality disorder), and I've overcompensated by becoming overly rational. The demands of being an adult in the real world (I lived at home till I married in my thirties) plus the hormonal insult of childbearing brought up those dynamics like they did when I was entering puberty.
I don't think my therapist or the therapy can be blamed for the length of my therapy. I think to some extent my therapist is uncomfortable with it himself. It's not what he usually does. And I suspect he thinks it doesn't reflect well on him(not that he'd say so). But he has come to see that it is beneficial to my being the best mom and the most productive member of society I can be. Of course, it can't *not* occur to me to wonder from time to time how much the steady income influences his thought.
I struggle with it myself sometimes. My rational side thinks there's something wrong with it. Therapy just isn't supposed to last that long. You're supposed to get better and move on. I feel some shame at still going for almost eight years now. Yet those around me prefer the way I am with therapy to the way I am on meds. And I do too. I wouldn't feel shame about being on meds life long. Why should I feel shame about being on therapy life long. Of course my emotional side tells me to shut up, it's helping me cope. That's the part of me that sees him as a mother figure. :)
Oh it's too late at night, and I get melancholy and obsessive in the middle of the night when I'm not hypomanic and silly. No wonder I can't sleep. Thanks for indulging my ramblings.
And thanks IsoM, for your confidence in me as a mom. I hope I earn it.
poster:Dinah
thread:1989
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20021230/msgs/1995.html