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Re: Why should i let drs abuse me? please help:(

Posted by kerria on September 1, 2005, at 22:55:28 [reposted on September 3, 2005, at 3:28:32 | original URL]

In reply to Re: Why should i let drs abuse me? please help:( » kerria, posted by Emme on September 1, 2005, at 13:37:58

Thank you, Emme, so much for your responding to me in this struggle.

tears.

Yes, i've had a lawyer. It's almost five years since i filed for disability.

i want to forget everything about having DID, i just need to get pain control. i do say i'm in terrible pain and try to reason with dr - who gives meds that don't work- actually they do work badly- not cover pain and leave me dangerously sedated.
At least it's something or i'd be screaming.

The dr just keeps saying in response to my desription of pain "You don't have a diagnosis."

There are so many tests that i've had - so many- abnormalities are found but the drs don't see how it can cause the pain that it does. They write that in my records and the dr reads it back to me.

We get no where with this dr.

I'm afraid that these records will follow me to what ever place, hospital, university hospital that i go next.

i went to Johns Hopkins gyn pelvic pain and hematology clinic i went to the Un of MD (hematology) hospital. I went to the Mayo Clinic(hematology, gyn and pain medicine).

By now- almost a fifth of all the drs in the US and Holland have heard of me or have my name in their system.

It's scary. i wish i could get a new identity to get away from the medical records. Drs have written horrible things about me- because they see that i 'say' i have pain but there appears 'no reason'. To them it means hypochondia or drug-seeking. What else could it be?

But my pain hurts so much and is real every minute of every day. Sorry they can't find why.

Thanks for trying to encourage me. i so need to have a new identity.

Take care,
kerria


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