Posted by kerria on September 1, 2005, at 2:24:00 [reposted on September 3, 2005, at 3:24:27 | original URL]
In reply to Re: Why should i let drs abuse me? please help:( » kerria, posted by JenStar on August 31, 2005, at 23:11:57
everything is so hopeless
Thank you for posting Racer, Rainbowbrite, Phillipa, Lunesta and JenStar.Thank you. i need to be out of pain but it's not possible. i've been to SO MANY drs, i have a bad reputation now. They don't understand DID- and think that i have psychological pain. This has been going on for almost two years.
incidentally- i applied for S.S disability when i found out that i had DID five years ago because i couldn't afford the treatment for it. Then all the physical problems started happening. Still i haven't received it.
About two years ago i started having severe pelvic pain- i think might be related to a chemical spill i had at work but there's no way possible prove it. The back of my suit became ripped and a chemical leaked in and the same region i have pain in is the area that was exposed. i wasn't able to change for about an hour as i drove home. i love the place i work at.i don't know for sure if that chemical spill was involved but so many physical problems happened beginning that year.
i started having the severe pelvic pain.
First i went to a gyn dr who did surgery to find cause.
Then had a colonoscopy.
Then my GP found too much protein in my blood- and also that my thyroid wasn't working anymore.
a hematologist did bone marrow biopsy and there are cloned immuniogloblins. If the level gets higher it would be multiple myeloma. Also they found that the marrow isn't working well- not making enough cells.
It's not serious enough now to start treatment.
But i have all this PAIN.
The hematologist says that is not the reason for pain.
These and other drs- i ent to the Mayo clinic even - and all kinds of tests were done and cause of the severe pain isn't apparant to any drs there so they think it's psychological.It's constant pain. My T has been able to help with smallet migraines but the terrbly severe ones i still have to go to the hospital with.
The pelvic pain is too sharp and constant to be helped by anything except pain medicine, a nerve block is so difficult for my parts inside to handle doing but helped for two days.
This pain management dr will give morphine temporarily now- but morphine leaves me in pain and sedated . i was on oxycontin and it took my pain away- or was at a tolerable level but this dr won't give it anymore because i don't have a 'diagnosis'
The pain is too severe to live in.
my H wants to divorce me and talks about it a few times a week. At every disagreement.
There are so many problems.
it hurts so much.
When i went to the er when i first started the morphine and it wasn't working the ER dr treated me so terrible because he talked about my mental disorder being the cause of the pain and talked to the pain management dr on the phone who described how i didn't have a diagnosis.
i may not have a diagnosis but i have severe pain every day - all day and all night aand thie morphine isn't taking the pain away.
No dr will believe me.
It's too hard to live in pain with not anyone to believe me or help and i'm so tired of going to so many drs. It's so hard to have parts also- i can't get inside agreement. Thanks so much for trying to understand. tears. it's so hard to live with that also- no one understands - every day my family that i love is angry with me for things that i can't help doing . they don't understand separate parts.
Everything is too hard,
the untreated pain, the drs and the horrible way they treat me- my T doesn't even call me back.
i'm so tired of living in all the pain- but the physical pain is unbearably hard. It's impossible, If take enough morphine to get out of pain it is so sedating that i sleep and life isn't worth living.My family doesn't understand. My relationships are getting worse and worse. i can't do all the things that i love to do. hike and backpack, or do anything at all around my house. All i do is hurt.
kerria:(
poster:kerria
thread:550207
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/health/20050411/msgs/550215.html