Posted by Deneb on November 15, 2006, at 22:36:45
In reply to Re: Bulimia's a bitch » 10derHeart, posted by Deneb on November 15, 2006, at 18:32:12
I have to start counting calories and writing down what I eat again. I've lost the ability to regulate how much food I eat. I eat non-stop. I can't believe how quickly I can forget how to eat normally.
I'm going back on my 1200 kcal/day diet. I'm a failure at fasting and restricting. I just don't have the discipline. I'm too impulsive. I binge on millions of calories then purge. It's really disgusting. Vomit, strands of split, snot and tears, toilet water splashing onto my face.
These past days I must have eaten about 3000 kcal a day, maybe more, the chips and ice cream are pretty calorie dense. I have to stop or else I'm going to be overweight.
I hate my bulimia!!!!! I think it's official, I have bulimia (my pdoc used that word). I've been bulimic on and off since I started university. I just read some posts of mine on binging and purging about a year ago. I was able to stop then. I hope I can stop this time.
I just know I will never be underweight. At the rate I'm eating I would be lucky to not be 50 pounds overweight in a year's time. Overweight and probably lose my teeth too.
Deneb*
poster:Deneb
thread:703525
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/eating/20060628/msgs/704137.html