Posted by Maxime on August 15, 2006, at 16:23:04
In reply to Re: Trigger - I NEED to get to my low weight » Maxime, posted by Racer on August 6, 2006, at 11:21:19
I missed an appointment with him last week ... it was NOT intentional. I feel so awful. Someone could have used that time. I called to reschedule ... he hasn't called back. Do you think he is punishing me? I hope not.
I don't think he knows me well enough to know if or when I am going to try to kill myself.
If he will see me again, I will go back. If he punishes me for missing my appointment ... which I have never done before EVER, then I guess I don't have a doctor anymore.
My eating disorder has escalated. I hope it kills me.
Maxime
> Maybe you should stop seeing him, Maxie, but don't dismiss the history you have with him. It does count.
>
> Even if you don't always trust him to be on top of the latest and greatest, don't you think it's nice that he'd take care of you in more human terms?
>
> And maybe he's not reacting to your suicidal ideation because he knows you well enough to see something that makes him trust that you've still got some oomph left? Maybe he sees something that tells him this isn't going to be an attempt time for you? Or maybe he's trying not to react, because he's afraid you'll get into a habit of threatening suicide when you're upset, instead of working with your treatment team? Who knows. Maybe he was just having a bad day.
>
> Or, of course, it could be that you should start thinking about looking for another pdoc...
>
> Dunno. I just know that the history you've got with this guy makes me think it would be sad for you to dismiss all of it over a bad patch. Make sense?
>
> xoox
poster:Maxime
thread:672989
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/eating/20060628/msgs/676760.html