Posted by 10derHeart on July 13, 2006, at 12:07:20
In reply to Re: What does 'FAT' mean?, posted by ElaineM on July 12, 2006, at 16:10:11
Hi Elaine,
I'm sorry you understand all this so well. Sorry anyone of us does.
>Now I feel so ugly, that I fear if I fell down (from my physical illness) that no one would even stop to help me.<
This statement reminded me so much of something in a group therapy session with an ex-pdoc of mine (wonderful, lovely person, pdoc and therapist). One of the women who had a hx of severe panic attacks and issues with bad anxiety said she was afraid to walk down the aisle in her church any more. She was sad and frustated about being unable to do that. She said she was afraid she'd be self-conscious and nervous, and possibly start having panicky symtoms, e.g., lightheadedness, weakness, shortness of breath or dizziness, so she might actually start to fall down in church. She said this in such a way you could tell she envisioned that possibility as mortifying, and had no thoughts of anyone possibly helping her.
My ex-pdoc gently asked her a few questions about the kindness of people the woman knew in church (she had clearly been there for many years and seemed much valued in her faith community), how they treated each other, etc. Then he said, so calmly, gently and reasonably, "well, I think in my own church if I fell, or started to, walking down the aisle, that people *would* help me. I don't imagine them doing anything else. Isn't it possible they would care about you, not want you to fall down, and do the same for you in your church, if that happened? Can you at least imagine that *might* be the outcome, because (as she'd just told him) they value and care about each other, including you?"
This simple possibility brought tears to her eyes, just opening that tiny door to think *maybe* people would be compassionate and caring, not repulsed, not scared, not judgemental. It was such a powerful moment. Maybe I've explained it badly, though, or you had to be there.
Elaine - *I* would *definitely* stop to help you if you fell in the street. I don't care what you look like or weigh. And it can't be only me. We create these potential nightmares and negative images so well, in our heads, don't we? I do it, too. Yet, people are nobler than that...I really think so.
((Elaine))
poster:10derHeart
thread:666231
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/eating/20060628/msgs/666712.html