Posted by alexandra_k on December 25, 2013, at 16:18:11
In reply to Re: a crucible, posted by Dr. Bob on December 24, 2013, at 3:11:48
> It depends on what you think. If you say you think someone's stupid, they might feel put down, so I'd consider that uncivil. But if you say you think you back down easily, that's about you, not anybody else. And saying you feel angry, or whatever, is about you, too.
things can get tricky, though.
i guess because boundaries are porous. our feelings and beliefs and perceptions are an interface between ourself and things that lie outside ourself including other people. we have feelings about them and beliefs about them and we perceive them to be certain ways. it can be really hard to disentangle the mess of where one person starts or stops and another begins. i mean they are my feelings and beliefs and perceptions and in a sense they say more about me than they say about you. but of course my feelings and beliefs and perceptions about / of you are about / of you = they represent you.
i realise i have more trouble with this than most. but that's resulted in my being perhaps more motivated to learn about the way things are with this than most. and this has resulted in my coming to learn something about some of the aspects of this that are controversial. because people are working on this. and there are problems. and much is controversial. but of course (like anything) there are areas of broad consensus, too (like what i said in the paragraph above).
and your particular views on this (on what is civil and what is not civil - insofar as certain things are considered civil because they are about me or uncivil because they are about others) isn't consensus at all. or isn't the standard line. or anything like that. and why is it okay to be uncivil to yourself anyway? i don't get that. like you said to dinah... why care about the particular words if you can accept the intention? and why does a snort (of derision? how else is one supposed to interpret a snort)? civil when your threshold is set to capture all those other false positives...
?
or maybe i'm broken that i don't get this.
i'm sorry.
i guess things seem to be different now. but i don't really know. i don't know. maybe it is better for me not to think overly much on this.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1055631
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20131217/msgs/1056989.html