Posted by Dr. Bob on December 21, 2010, at 23:06:36
In reply to Bob, this may be an excellent example... » Dr. Bob, posted by muffled on December 19, 2010, at 11:58:41
> if the two people work it out as the thread indicates isn't that like in real life when folks work out problems.
>
> PhillipaWhat do you see as indicating that they worked it out?
--
> 1. the lack of warning.
The warning:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20101107/msgs/969409.html
> 2. an actual BLOCK for something that really isn't a major infraction
First blocks are usually for 1 week regardless of the infraction:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#enforce
> 3. And all would have been MUCH better served if it had been let go and have given the posters the ability themselves work it out, or at least have the opportunity to do so.
He had over 24 hours to apologize or rephrase, and others had over 24 hours to encourage him to do so.
> WE ARE NOT PERFECT. We WILL screw up. And sometimes there ARE fights, and you know what?, they blow over, they pass, and things settle again. Utopia is NOT achievable here on earth.
When posters screw up, sometimes there are consequences. Utopia isn't achievable. But blocks pass. Here they do, anyway.
> And in trying to achieve some utopian place, all your are making is a scarey place where NOONE can live up to these rigid standards.
> I know I can't, and that frightens me.
> I think the worst of it is the shame for me.
> And the sense that you don't think of me as having the intelligence/ability to sort out my mistakes with others. NO, you would just banish me away like an incompetant fool who has no brain, so I must be just sent away.LOTS of posters are able to follow the guidelines. Only 1 out of every 2500 posts results in a block:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20100321/msgs/947061.html
Maybe try to replace shame with mature guilt?
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20100714/msgs/958778.html
> Its like smacking my kid upside the head when he calls his sister 'stupid'. What does that teach my child? So I GUIDE my son towards a better resolution, I don't smack him in the head, I give him the chance to make a better decision.
I guide posters to water, but I can't make them drink.
> Best wishes in this season.
>
> MThanks, same to you,
Bob
a brilliant and reticent Web mastermind -- The New York Times
backpedals well -- PartlyCloudy
poster:Dr. Bob
thread:973900
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20101201/msgs/974253.html