Posted by violette on July 11, 2010, at 14:45:37
In reply to Re: when a person is hurt » violette, posted by ron1953 on July 11, 2010, at 14:28:44
Ron, thanks for explaining :)
I'm pretty open about my 'issues' here. At the same time, I don't want to border on self degeneration to interact with people-as I realized this possibility when seeing another member's final post before leaving the forum....
You might disagree with this, but I think both people are responsible for feelings that arise from conversation. And there is a continum there-some may be more related to the person on the receiving end, some more on the transmitting end of communications...that's not something that can be determined. And what you do with that information is a different thing....as you stated.
But-even my therapist who went through orthodox psychoanalytic training where seemingly all the feelings of the patient are the patient's, and all the feelings of the therapist are also the patient's, realized the untruthfulness of that concept. Once in a while, he will be mistaken about my reaction and after discussion, will see how my perception was based on something he said or the way he reacted, and not just 'my issues' alone. It's very productive to discuss the dynamics of these interactions.
And I felt a bit more comfortable here seeing Dr. Bob's being (more?) open about his responsibility in the way poster's feel.
As I said, I acknowledge what you do with your feelings/reaction is up to you-but psychodynamics help me better understand myself. And it is an issue for me when others point out possible 'negative' traits of my own-when I am pretty open about my faults-but do not ever or rarely state how their issues may have contributed to conflict.
I just feel that understanding my inner motivations are more important and lead to more insights and is more helpfl than changing my thoughts/behavior. Even if you change your thoughts, the inner conflicts remain. I can't find peacefulness or serenity by continuing to repress those emotions that lead to the thoughts
Anyway, nice talking with you.
p.s. I liked thinking about the concept "emotional hijacking".
poster:violette
thread:953266
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20100321/msgs/954123.html