Posted by PartlyCloudy on July 10, 2010, at 19:20:41
In reply to Re: when a person is hurt, posted by ron1953 on July 10, 2010, at 17:37:26
> > Using violette;s reasoning, the most easily hurt person is the standard for civility--- and easily hurt people are somehow more capable of discerning "covert" -- ie not obvious-- abuse or incivility in other people.
> >
> > I don't see why this would be so. They might just as likely see hurtfulness where it isn't-- because they have a tendency to feel hurt. In most cases, there's some standard of reasonableness, not hyper-sensitivity, when you're trying to analyze a transaction. That seems more reliable and flexible for us too.
> >
> > Bob doesn't have any special reasonableness maybe-- but it seems like a better thing to aim for in defining civility.
> >
> > Willful
> >
> >
> >
> >
> I applaud your insight and logic. I have noticed that there seem to be folks who are not only hurt easily, but have a way of actually finding hurt in otherwise innocuous exchanges, they seem to have hurt RADAR. And while it may seem reasonable and compassionate to set the bar for the most sensitive, it dumbs things down to an absurd point. Do the tough get softer? Do the soft get tougher? Ah - perhaps BOTH.Er, is RADAR like spidey sense, Ron? Just curious; because I don't consider myself someone to be easily hurt. I do though, consider myself a good lay student of people. And when I follow my intuition, it does not lead me in the wrong direction.
poster:PartlyCloudy
thread:953266
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20100321/msgs/954029.html