Posted by gardenergirl on January 21, 2007, at 23:05:30
In reply to Re: helping » Dr. Bob, posted by ElaineM on January 21, 2007, at 15:57:33
> >>>>>I'm sorry you're feeling so bad, we care about you and want the best for you, and please go see someone IRL.
>
> Don't want to take your advice. I want to take this bottle of pills. I'm so upset. I don't want to live.I think it's important for all of us to keep in mind that no one has to take anyone else's advice, and no one has to even change if they don't wish to. As much as it might be painful and/or frustrating for others, folks do have the right to have maladaptive thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. So in the modified example here, I would view the "broken record" of continuing to suggest the same thing as being pressure, but not the repetition of the thoughts about harming oneself.
I also think there's a difference between suggesting a course of action and insisting on one, so I agree it's quite a subjective call.
What has helped me in similar situations is to pay attention to boundaries. I have to remind myself that I'm not responsible for anyone else's feelings, thoughts, or behavior, even if the other suggests I am. I have to remind myself not to respond as if I am, too, but rather try to stay more objective.
It's sure as heck not always easy, though.
namaste
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:724710
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20061228/msgs/725036.html