Posted by tabitha on June 30, 2004, at 13:27:44
In reply to Re: Indirect messages » tabitha, posted by Dinah on June 30, 2004, at 0:12:11
> But...
>
> If I were to name myself Flame, and enter a website proclaiming that I had been attacked at other websites for saying XXXXX, and took the time to look up a subject that I had absolutely no familiarity with but that another poster had expressed vulnerability to, I don't think that bewilderment would be my first response at posters' anger or expressed hurt to my saying XXXXX, YYYYYY, or even ZZZZZ. And even if I were bewildered or surprised, I'd kind of catch on when a whole lot of posters register pain at my words.
>Well, I was thinking of times in my own life when I've done ineffective things over and over, and not learned the obvious lesson, and finally discovered it was some kind of childhood repetition compulsion thing happening, where I was beating my head against a wall in an effort to 'make it work this time', which is supposed to fix the past, but just ends up getting me hurt over and over in the present, because I'm choosing situations where it can't possibly work this time. So.. I was open to the idea that maybe 'being listened to' or 'heeding my warnings' is a recurring issue here, and maybe there's a bit of a blind spot about the best way to get that to happen.
I probably wouldn't think that if it weren't for the reactions to the questions about intent. I saw some genuine surprise and hurt there.
poster:tabitha
thread:361240
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20040527/msgs/362023.html