Posted by linkadge on June 1, 2020, at 10:56:31
In reply to Re: Norepinehprine D4 receptor, posted by undopaminergic on June 1, 2020, at 6:37:28
Hmm.
I remember reading somewhere that kappa agonists increased GDNF (a substances that apparently reduces additive like behaviors). I think that salvia has some agonist activity at d2 as well (have to look). Anyhow, I didn't mind salvia during the effect. I had some mild-moderate visual distortions and a loss of self-other boundaries. You could say that it induced some dysphoria, but it also felt like it had some mood stabilizing properties. There was a reduction in color perception (which rebounded after the effect wore off).
Anything that kills my ego helps my depression. (not my ego in the 'personality' sense, but my ego in the sense of hyperawareness of my own consciousness and mortality...how everything must be analyzed in a self-referential way). I like things that let me fade into the woodwork feeling part of something bigger without having to be bigger myself).
I suppose that antipsychotics can kill the ego as well, but I found they just induced feelings of worthlessness --- rather than self disappearance.
When I am suicidal its just that I want to stop feeling my consciousness. I want to be dead (in a sense) yet still be alive if that makes any sense. I crave drugs that make me feel disconnected yet still alive. Alive enough to live but not so alive to incessantly ruminate about my first world problems.
Linkadge
poster:linkadge
thread:1110375
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20200511/msgs/1110433.html