Posted by phidippus on July 24, 2014, at 14:38:49
In reply to Re: Best dopamine enhancing selective med, posted by Sugardog on July 23, 2014, at 22:27:01
> Would I seek out a cognitive therapist? What kind?
You probably want to find a therapist who specializes in CBT and ERP-someone who specializes in anxiety disorders and mood disorders should know those therapies. If you look on Psychologytoday.com you can search therapists by specialty.
> I want to, but the negative thoughts feel pervasive, natural, and completely ingrained.
So? Does that mean you have to listen to them? What turns down the volume of them?
> YES! I feel as if I will die if I lose the negative thoughts or my identity disintegrates.
Remember, it only feels that way. I'm sure in a 24 hour period you get some moments of peace and you don't wither.
>I didn't have a mirror in my room anymore and was totally thrown off balance and into an anxious depression/existential crisis. It was the weirdest thing. I somehow needed confirmation that I actually existed through looking at my reflection.
Definitely some OCD going on there. Did you obsess over the mirror?
>believe (subconsciously) that everyone will leave me if I'm healthy and feel good about myself.
You're afraid to be alone? Perhaps if you're healthy and feel good about yourself it won't matter if you're alone. Or maybe you have some psychiatric Munchausen thing going on.
> Yes. I always presume I'll be judged harshly, that I'll be shamed. I realize that preempting that judgement is completely irrational. I can't seem to rationalize my way out of it.
You don't need to rationalize your way out of it. You already know its irrational. Just agree with the thought you will be judged. You fear being judged and you will be. There's no point in making yourself miserable about it. Have you ever really been shamed?
> Unless being fat makes you feel more insane. :)!ha ha
> Yes. I always notice something different in a room. I'm very attuned to others' tone of voice or emotional state. I'm very good at making others feel good about themselves and modifying my behavior to not elicit a hostile response from them or cause conflict.
We all function like this at some level. It is not a bad thing. Do you feel like you shouldn't be so empathic?
>I really don't want to be bipolar,
I have a very strong feeling you are bipolar 2 because of the mood shifts you experience and how your anxiety rides the coatails of those mood shifts. Also, the hypomania you experienced while taking Lexapro is also very telling, as is your response to lithium.
> I don't want to be bipolar, but I'll reconsider it.
Its not that big a deal.
> > What was your experience on lithium?
>
> Calmer but flat, little joy, weight gain.I thought it might make you calmer. Its too bad it flattened you out. Perhaps another mood stabilizer might help more, like Lamictal or Trileptal
Do you notice if your mood worsens on antidepressants?
Eric
poster:phidippus
thread:1067983
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20140717/msgs/1068748.html